Half way through this mess, I had the distinct feeling that this movie would fizzle into the over-populated category of slightly amusing, yet absolutely forgettable, cinematic entertainment. I was totally wrong. “Red” actually became exponentially worse as the minutes ticked by, ending up in pretty hideous company. It easily ranks as one of the dumbest movies of 2010.
Having watched the trailer, I was on the fence whether or not to give it a shot. I loved the cast… Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Helen Mirren, John Malkovich & the gorgeous Mary-Louise Parker. The premise sounded fun… ex-CIA spies reunite in retirement for one last geriatric adventure. It all promised to be good light-hearted fun. Instead, we are forced to endure an entirely messy plot and characters that don’t even qualify for the first dimension, let alone the second or third.
I hated the stiff action sequences. I quickly became tired of the “old fogies” dishing out lame lines in an attempt to be lovable wise-crackers. I never once bought into the supposed danger of their mission. It is all just so over-the-top and unbelievable that the only way it could possibly succeed is with humor. It needed to be farcical to work. Unfortunately, even the humor falls flat at every turn.
“Red” is a star vehicle with lazy writing and unskilled direction. I really wanted to enjoy these fantastic acting talents in a fun adventure. However, I lost every ounce of interest by the final act and was desperate to hear the final whistle blow. The only thing that elevates this dreadful movie out of the “Zero Star” range is the company of the five major stars. I typically like them all… just not this time.
