Oscar Reactions

1. I usually love Seth MacFarlane’s comedy… but he was atrocious.  Bad timing.  Bad delivery. Weak jokes. Poor taste.

2. Happy with the Supporting Actor and Actress winners… Waltz and Hathaway were both superb.

3. Best dressed — Jessica Chastain, Amanda Seyfried, Charlize Theron & Jennifer Lawrence.

4. Worst dressed — Melissa McCarthy, Jane Fonda & Halle Berry.

5. General Show Impressions — Bad host. Uncomfortable audience. Too many musical numbers (as always). Too long.

6. Most Pleasant Surprises — Ang Lee winning Best Director for the amazing “Life of Pi”.

7. Most Pleasant Snub — “Lincoln” being almost completely shut out.

8. Best Actor Reaction — A foregone conclusion from the day the film was announced.  Joaquin Phoenix should have won.

9. Best Actress Reaction — JLaw has decades in front of her and will have many more chances. Chastain or Riva for me.

10. Best Picture Reaction — “Argo” was the least disliked film… but it will never hold up as the best over time.  “Zero” or “Pi” for me.

I love the Oscars… never missed one since the early 1980′s.  However, this was one of the shoddiest and least memorable ceremonies over the past 30 years.  Tiny Fey and Amy Poehler should be hired ASAP for next year.  Seth Macfarlane can go back to what he does best… “Family Guy”.  He does not fit well with the Academy Awards.

The show needs to stop with the old-school musical numbers — very few people like them.  They also need to squish the least cared about categories (The 3 Short Film Awards, The Special Effects, The 2 Sound Awards etc) into a quick five minute highlight package.  No one ever wants to hear an unknown schmo thank his lawyers and agents and wave hello to his sleeping kids.

Winners should only be allowed to thank people who we have heard of.  Anyone else can be thanked backstage in the press tent.  Do all that and the awkward “play-them-off” music wouldn’t ever be necessary.

Overall, the Oscars needs to stop trying to be GRAND all the time.  Embrace the more relaxed atmosphere that suits the modern world!  It still plays a little too much like a 1960′s variety show.  Modernize!  Adapt!  BE FUCKING COOL FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE!!!

The Oscars are inherently grand… they don’t need to try so hard to prove it.

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