Listen, “Machete” is a stupid movie. Even Robert Rodriguez would have to admit that. Even its biggest fan would begrudgingly concede that the story is dumber than a bag of hammers. This film is simply a celebration of exploitation flicks. Instead of blacksploitation, we get Mexsploitation. “Machete” is wall to wall with tits and knives and blood and stunts and one-liners. It is ridiculous and proud.
To try explaining the plot is like trying to explain the tune of “Bohemian Rhapsody”. What’s the point? You just have to experience it for yourself. Danny Trejo cuts people up and bangs hotties like Jessica Alba, Electra Avellan, Lindsay Lohan and Michelle Rodriguez. That is all you need to know. The only question when evaluating this film is whether or not you enjoyed all the insanity on a visceral level or not.
I am guilty of enjoying the film to some degree. I laughed at the movie and I laughed at myself for watching the movie. I am not above the cheap thrills of gratuitous nudity. I can appreciate the artistic merit of a machete slicing massacre from time to time. If the film had been nothing but cheap thrills, I may have liked it a little more. However, it actually has the “cohones” to try and say something meaningful about the state of affairs in the United States today — about border control and slave labor. The film probably doesn’t earn the right to discuss matters like that, despite having legitimate points.
I enjoyed my time with “Machete”. I doubt that I will ever want to watch it again. When it surfaces on cable TV, I might just peek up for the naughty bits. Agh, who am I kidding… I will be recording the naughty bits and playing them on a loop. Mmm… Lindsay Lohan’s naughty bits.
