Wow, I didn’t see that coming! Oh wait… Yeah, I did.
A disappointingly implausible “stand-off” movie, “Assault on Precinct 13″ employs all the usual coincidences, plot twists and timely exposition that can be seen in dozens of straight to video Van Damme / Seagal efforts each year.
The only things that really elevate this film above the fray are some decent performances from Ethan Hawke, Drea di Matteo, Lawrence Fishburne and Maria Bello.
However, there are some truly squalid performances in this film too. Most notable among the dreadful bunch is Gabriel Byrne, who is laughably clownish as the one-liner spouting bad guy. I was also disturbed to have to sit through an obnoxious turn by John Leguizamo and an embarrassing effort by Ja Rule. I am getting sick of studios handing out the token black ‘gangsta’ role to famous rappers. Not one of them is any good.
The stand-off in this movie is about as implausible as it can get. Apparently, even though their lives depend on it, dozens of highly trained SWAT team members and other assorted cops can’t break into a dilapidated old police house defended by a drunk cop, a few civilians and a handful of convicts.
The final third of the film is riddled with coincidences that had become clichéd in action movies by the mid-1940′s.
This movie is obviously nothing more than popcorn entertainment, so its goals are not set very high. It almost achieves that very dismal goal, and for that I can avoid a D rating. But it is not a film I will be able to remember a few days from now and I will have no desire to bother with it again some day.
AOP13 is a cross between Die Hard 2 and SWAT, but it is nowhere near as good as the first and not nearly as bad as the second.
